Changes
by Tornintopeices
Summary: BIG SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 EPISODE 1. My take on why Merlin and Arthur were acting the way they were. Merlin has the beginnings of PTSD and Arthur is confused. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT EPISODE 1 OF SEASON 2 IS ABOUT. Gen.
1. Changes

**Okay so I haven't seen Ep1 of Season 2 yet. But I have read a very detailed review and this was what it spawned. Written betwen midnight and 1:30am so tenses may change and this may not make sense. Also, if you spot any spelling mistakes please tell me because apparently my new copy of MSWord didn't come with a spell checker.**

**Torn**

The Questing Beast had changed everything.

Even after Nimueh was dead and Gaius and his mother and Arthur weren't (the fact that Merlin himself also wasn't dead didn't seem to figure), Merlin couldn't look at Arthur without remembering him pale and sweating and dying from a poisoned wound Merlin could have – should have – stopped. So Merlin slipped into trying as hard as possible to please Arthur because he'd so nearly failed, so nearly let Arthur die. Merlin didn't fawn over Arthur, he never had and probably never would, but their relationship; which had been bordering on friendship slid further and further into master/servant territory.

If Arthur noticed he didn't say anything, but he was the only one who didn't – even Morgana, who was looking pale and tired these days, commented on how thin he was getting, Gaius kept giving him more food to push around his plate and Gwen had evidently managed to charm a few of the other servants into picking up some of the excess work Merlin had to do. Unthinking he assured Morgana he'd eat more, tried to eat more to stop the concerned look in Gaius' eyes and thanked Gwen.

Merlin had taken up sleeping in the ante-chamber off Arthur's room, apparently that was where you kept a manservant, just so if he was needed during the night he could be there. Sometimes he barely slept and at least once a week he would creep into Arthur's room and just watch him breathing, reminding himself that Arthur was still alive. He took whatever orders and duties Arthur dished out without any comment, retorted 'prat' to Arthur's 'idiot' at appropriate points and attempted to do whatever was necessary to keep Arthur going.

Then Cedric arrived, if Merlin had thought Edwin was the master of sucking up Cedric had perfected the art form and Merlin hated him for it. Having grown up a farm boy and used to doing a majority of his chores with magic, magic he was using less and less these days, Merlin was not suited to a servant's life but he was trying. Whilst Cedric appeared to be a born servant; flattering and wheedling and apparently able to do whatever Arthur wanted. He might hate the orders, loathe the sheer amount of work he was given and have various moments when he wasn't all that fond of the prince but being Arthur's manservant afforded him the chance to protect Arthur. Something Cedric couldn't do¸ but he didn't snap back when Arthur was being totally unsubtle about how much of an honour it was to be servant to the prince, didn't contradict Cedric when he claimed the boar kill and didn't get entirely pissed off when Cedric had managed to do most of his duties before he'd even arrived but when Arthur waved him off and insisted that Cedric could do his duties it hurt. Because Arthur needed him. Doesn't need him...still needs him.

But when Merlin figured out that Cedric had stolen the key to the tomb and broken into it he went back to the hyper-alert state he was in after Nimueh's death.

He needed to find Arthur.

Needed to protect him.

Couldn't fail again.

Arthur didn't believe him, and god this would be so much **easier** if he did, and then Cedric walked in and Merlin could feel his magic crawling under his skin; could _sense_ that something was wrong with the odious man. He felt like the tomb, like the magic pouring off the blue heartsone, like someone else. Merlin was very nearly shaking with the need to get this malignant presence away from Arthur. There was a scuffle and Merlin found himself using some of the dirtier fighting tricks Will taught him years ago but in the end Arthur's brute strength is too much and he found himself hauled off to the dungeons. Again. Leaving Arthur with Cedric who wasn't Cedric.

The gargoyles were woken and Arthur went out to fight them and Merlin was trapped in a cell and so not where he was supposed to be. He's failing again and he can't let that happen. His magic was bridling at that, crackling under his skin and itching to be free. The prison door was a casualty of this (though Merlin did repair it hastily) and when he overheard Arthur's plan to keep fighting, even while bandaged up and obviously in pain, that was it. He can't let Arthur die.

The gargoyles, commanded by Cedric who wasn't Cedric, attacked again and Arthur ended up with a minor concussion. Which was still more evidence of Merlin's failure. The gargoyles were dead - well they weren't animated and killing people at least - and bits of them were decorating the courtyard along with the dead bodies of everyone else. Cedric who wasn't Cedric was dead too.

Arthur was bruised and battered but undeniably alive, always a good thing, and he'd even offered as much of an apology as he could. It didn't matter though, but Merlin came back with the expected banter and got the expected workload right in his dinner. Arthur was still alive and that meant Merlin hadn't completely failed.

Yet.


	2. Doormat

**A shorter companion piece mainly from Arthur's point of view. And yes, I'm pretty sure they didn't have doormats but I don't care, it's 1:30am.**

**Torn**

The only thing which really changed in the aftermath of the Questing Beast was Merlin. Gaius had made excuses for Merlin for two days, citing that his mother had come to visit and was sick. When he'd come back Merlin had been thinner and looking more tired and worn, but a Prince wouldn't really notice how healthy - or unhealthy – his servant was looking so Arthur didn't comment on it.

But as the weeks wore on it didn't seem to just be Merlin's appearance which was changing, there was less and less banter between them. Before, Arthur had always thought that he couldn't wait for Merlin to actually learn to be a proper servant: quiet, respectful, so on and so forth, but now he was being as proper as Merlin could be Arthur found himself hating it. Oh he still responded with 'Prat' or variations thereof whenever Arthur called him an idiot and cuffed him around the head but the boundaries and bonds between them seemed to have dissolved.

So Arthur did what Arthur had spent the first twenty odd years of his life doing, he pushed. Pushed to see where the boundaries were now, when Merlin would snap back at him or laugh at him. However no matter how hard he pushed, no matter how stupidly he acted towards Merlin there was no reaction. Merlin was still willing to dive in front of some deadly beast for him but there was no interaction any more.

Not only that but Merlin was even _trying _with his work, okay so he was failing badly but he was actually trying and that was rather disturbing. Then there was the weird look he gave Arthur every time he saw him: part sadness, part worry and part determination.

Honestly, he couldn't figure it out at all. Merlin had turned into a complete doormat.


End file.
